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Change Your Mind, Change Your Life

change your mind

Guest post from Shelly of Frugal Family Home

Do you tell yourself, I’m just not “this” or I’m not “that”?

I used to tell myself I didn’t like exercise. I would say, “I’m just not the exercising type”. But when I started to think long and hard why I told myself this I couldn’t really come up with an answer.

As a child and teenager, I was awkward. I could walk across the floor and trip over nothing. I would go to walk out a doorway and end up running into the door frame as I left the room. My family would joke with me about the walls jumping out to get me.

My performance in any sports was about the same, awkward and uncoordinated. But I played a lot as a child. But now as an adult I had decided or convinced myself that exercising just wasn’t for me. How did this happen to a once very active kid?

The only logical reason I could come up with was that it’s just what I told myself and I started to believe it. Then, I had an light bulb moment! If I had convinced myself I didn’t like to exercise, then why couldn’t I just change my mind. Why couldn’t I decide I was an exercising person?

So that day began a new way of life for me. I started to get up early and do some form of exercise each day. At first, it wasn’t pretty at all. In just a few moments, I was out of breath and feeling as though I might die.

I decided to give myself a goal, so I could measure my success. My first goal was to do a short CrossFit routine without feeling like I was going to die. It took me about three months and one day I realized this is easy for me. And so my transformation began.

How did it all start for me? It all started with my thought process.

What kinds of things do you tell yourself? 

Do you tell yourself you aren’t a good cook, you aren’t a good mother, you aren’t a good wife, you don’t like exercising or you don’t like to get up early?

Think about how this self talk might be holding you back from becoming the true person you should be. The person you were destined to be. The person God has for you to be.


Here are three things that helped me change my mind:

1. Replace Your Negative Self-Talk

I decided to tell myself I’m active person, I need to exercise to be strong, I need to exercise to be healthy. Once my mind changed, my body followed along. I started to want to get up early (well, most days!) to get my exercising in.

If you have something you really want to change, work on changing your mindset first and see if that change doesn’t become easier.

2. Believe It

I wanted to lose weight last year. But all year long I kept hearing that voice in my head saying you tried so many times and failed.

Instead of fighting that negative self-talk with positive self-talk, I would give in. I had chosen to believe I couldn’t do it… and so I didn’t. I didn’t make the changes I needed to make my goal.

Be mindful of your own doubtful self-talk and counter each thought with a positive one.

3. Get a Support Person

Starting out last year I had an accountability partner. We would check in once a week by email. In each of these emails we would share our goal or goals for that week and how last week went. We would also share what we wanted to do differently this week and what things that might be holding us back.

Find an accountability partner you can check in with each day or each week to help keep you on track. You may find this makes all the difference for you. It’s always good to have positive support for someone you trust.

Changing your life CAN be as easy as changing your mind. I’m not saying it’s an easy process, but once you have made up your mind, the rest of you will follow along.

What kind of things do you tell yourself that might be holding you back from being the person you are meant to be?

Shelly is a homeschooling mom to 2 and wife to her sweetheart of almost 24 years. She blogs at Frugal Family Home about homemaking on a budget. Where she shares money saving advice, recipes, homeschooling helps and more.

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  • Cherise says:

    Your article is wonderful. I love how you captured the power of mind set in accomplishing goals. I remembered a quote from a great speaker who challenged the audience in a similar way you have by saying, “What you think you will say. What you say you will do. What you do you will become.” Congratulations on accomplishing your goal.

    • Shelly says:

      Thanks so much Cherise. It’s so easy to put ourselves into a small little box when we have the ability to do so much more, if we can just change our thinking, we can become who we are truly meant to be.

  • Stephanie @ Mrs. Debtfighter says:

    Great tips!!! I was the same way about exercising. It definitely took a different mindset to get me motivated and believe that I can exercise and enjoy it! 🙂

  • JD says:

    I so identify with this article. I was always so bad at any type of recreation and remember standing there in a line until I was the last one chosen. Then the poor team that had to choose me groaned. Humiliating. Much older, I started going to the gym, not easy but determined and I started to believe I could accomplish goals. Guess what? I did. It was the best time of all my life.

    • Shelly says:

      JD, it’s wonderful you were able to reach your goals and didn’t let those humiliating times hold you back from reaching your goals. Way to Go!

  • suzanne says:

    I love this. I think you just took all the self help books I have ever read and put them in one concise post! Thank you…I feel encouraged to try again.

  • Sandra @ The Sensible Mom says:

    Love these tips! Thank you, Shelly! And you’re right on about the accountability. 🙂

  • sarah @ says:

    I love this.

    We are undergoing a huge change in the next few weeks (moving into a bus) and I am trying really hard to embrace the positive aspects of it. Starting a blog about the whole thing has really helped because it forces me to reframe it in a good light to be able to write about it and has made the whole thing a lot more fun! Even doing the dirty work of getting it cleaned up seems like more fun because I am excited to ahow off our progress.

    So, all that to say: I am trying to tell myself that I am a person who embraces change and adventure!

  • Tamara says:

    Great post! I agree with you too on all aspects. Its great that you changed your mindset & also that you have an accountability partner. I know that must make you feel great! Keep up the great work!

  • Maria says:

    Simple but profound concept! Great article!

  • Jennifer says:

    What a helpful post! This idea can change lives and you described it in simply way which makes it something we all can do. I love the example you gave of how it helped you to change how you feel about yourself and exercise.

    Its sad that so many of us have beliefs about ourselves that hold us back and that we often have negative self talk. But it is something that we all have the power to change when we become aware of it. And we when do, it can have a positive impact on our lives as well as our children, husband and all those around us. Thank you! It’s so good to start out my morning on a positive note!

  • Jamie Rohrbaugh says:

    Thanks for the awesome post. I am working on doing these things right now as I need to get way more physically fit than I am. Thanks for the encouragement!

  • Tshanina | Thrifty T's Treasures says:

    What a fabulous post!

    I truly believe that life change happens when we begin to take our thoughts captive and compare them to truth.

    I began doing this a few years ago and it has definitely been a game changer for my attitude. Sure, there are still difficult days, but this has made a huge difference!

  • mel says:

    I needed this. Its amazing how just the right things come at the right time. I needed to apply this type of thinking yo a couple of things in my life right now. You have helped me note then you will ever know. Thank you.

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